Our challenge...

It's been a long time...too long since I've blogged.  Many of nights I've sat up, unable to think, and due to Mark's sensitive (almost blind) eye, unable to keep a light on for reading.  I've only been able to think...about life...about God...about new challenges...about conquered challenges.  All perfect for blogging, but just haven't gotten down to it.  

So...today's "thoughts" have been on how   I   no, we have been planning to live out our lives "debt-free".  Basically, we don't want anything other than God to own our belongings.  So, we have sacrificed, and honestly it's not been that hard.  We've bought cars, much older cars, paid in full, and have put a couple dollars into making them run like new, and diligently keep up on the maintenance.  I certainly remember the days of brand new car smell, nice beautiful leather seats, awesome stereo systems, heated seats, adjustable foot pedals...but, I especially remember the $600 per month payments.  Only to have the threat of that nice car being taken away should I not be able to pay.  Yea, I don't miss that feeling.  While I've never owned a credit card, I used to think if I just got one, how happy I would be to be able to get the things I "needed" right away.  (Thank you God for not giving me the opportunity to fail miserably in that area!)

So, what brought this on today?  Our hand-me-down vacuum cleaner bit the dust over a week ago, and I (who clean houses for others to make a living) really cannot stand a dirty house, particularly a dirty floor, mainly because I like walking around my house barefoot.  Ok, so the vacuum died, and previously I had told Mark that when it died I really wanted to look at getting a Dyson.  Dyson's aren't cheap, by any means, but are in my experience and opinion the best.  So I looked into it.  I had the savings to get the brand new one that I really liked.  But thankfully, God gave me the insight to think further than my current predicament.  I knew I had been saving for several things.  For instance, a new camera, our trip to Italy next June, Christmas gifts, and just a general savings for the "what-if's" of life.  Did I really want to use up over half of my savings for a purchase that yes was needed, but not necessarily on that extravagant of a level?  The honest truth was, No.  No I did not want to do that.  And then...His mercy was shown on my obedience just THINKING the right way, and being willing to ACCEPT what I knew was right, and an ad on craigslist came up for a used Dyson $25!  Now, this Dyson needed some work, some time, some effort.  It badly needed cleaned, and deodorized, and may possibly need a new filter if this cleaning doesn't work.  But it runs great, and does the exact job(s) I NEED it for!  It may not seem like much to you, but to me, it's amazing.  Just by thinking clearly, and past the first impulsive nature to "get it because I need it anyway, why not get the best" is a miracle for me, but then to be rewarded for that behavior, something I should be doing anyway....yea, that's amazing.

I doubt we will accomplish this "debt-free" lifetime goal blemish free.  I do NOT doubt that we will be continuously held up by His righteousness if we give all our best efforts at listening to what He is calling us to do, and how to live.  I certainly do not put anyone down for having credit-cards, at all.  This is the way we've been called to live, and for good reason.  

With all this being said, and two rambunctious puppies playfully getting tangled at my feet (and in my computer wires) I am going to call it a night.  

*BELIEVE* 

Another day has passed

Weariness.  Just the sound of the name brings about visions of damp, grey, gloomy weather.  Which, is a more perfect description of how I've felt most of the day.  I've had my high moments.  Moments where I forced a smile.  A real smile.  Not the "there I did it" smile.  Or the "I'll pitifully smile to make you happy" smile.  A real, genuine, pearly whites showin' smile.
While the devil is sneaking in (very unfairly I might add) at the darkest hours trying to make what are already "tough" situations even tough-er...God's grace shines through.  He reminds me, mercifully, that things have been far worse, and He uses all things for His good.  He reminds me all too often that I am not the one who has to carry the weight of my loved ones burdens, and that I have Him to carry me when my burdens are too heavy for me to walk.
Keep praying. Keep believing.  Keep praying.  Keep believing.   Keep  praying.   Keep  believing.    Keep   praying.    Keep   believing.          Keep       praying.          Keep       believing.

Good night my dears, may all of you be blessed, through the darkness and the light!

Like Strawberry Wine

It's almost hard to believe.  10 years ago, tomorrow 5/5, I started dating a friend I'd known for almost a year. 
Our first date was an omen for our relationship.  He was to pick me up from work, at exactly 4:30 (I was taking a late lunch, so basically I could leave a half hour before my scheduled time.  
At the time, I was 16 and was "heart-broken".  My first boyfriend and I had recently split, and as a result of that split, I went from having about 20 "friends" to about a handful, and Mark was one of them.  
So anyway, this was a "friendship date"... ;) ...  He was picking me up at 4:30, and we were headed to Ocean City.  I had brought along the cutest outfits I had, several pairs of shoes, my make-up bag, curling iron, and more crap that I can't even remember...for this "friendship date."  We had been out many nights, just the two of us, and I had even stayed at his house, sleeping in the same bed, but in all honesty, we were just friends.
Until, that is...this particular "friendship date."  I don't know why, but all of a sudden this new feeling came over me, and it seemed to have come over him too, and our Ocean City plans had become more than any other night, before it even started.
I was nervous.
A good nervous.
Butterflies were in my stomach, and my hand was shaking trying to add the 100th layer of mascara. (I was 16, remember!)
So, 4:29 came way quicker than I expected, and I didn't want to seem obnoxiously 'ready'.  So I had a co-worker "casually" glance out the window, looking for his green Ford Explorer.  She came back, saying he wasn't here yet, so about 3.5minutes later (5 minutes was WAY too long) I peeked through the store, out into the parking lot, and that's when my heart sank to my toes.  He really wasn't out there.  
"He's just running late." I told myself, trying not to cry, and all the women that I worked with got this 'look' on their faces, and were pitifully trying to smile.  They all knew how depressed I'd been, the horror of my last relationship, and how devastated my 16 year old self was. They had all helped me get ready, picking out which bathing suit with what outfit, hair spraying my wild curls down, and giving me the total package review.  And now, I just sat in the back room, as one by one, the other girls went back to work.  I fought back tears, and fought hard.  I kept checking, kept looking out the back window in case he was coming from the other direction.    I called his house because...hold on to your seats...we...gulp...didn't...double gulp...have...cell phones...(GASP!), I paged him, in code telling him to page me.


Nothing.


5pm rolled around, and the other women were all now man-bashing, & telling me their own stood-up horror stories.  I couldn't take it anymore.  If I stayed in that building one more minute, I was going to burst into tears, and I could NOT let that happen.  So I gathered what little bit of courage I had left, grabbed ALL my belongings (which I was planning on keeping the mini-closet I brought with me in my locker until the next day so he didn't see all of it), and I said my "I'm ok" & "It's whatever" good-bye's to the girls, and walked to my car, chin on the verge of quivering off my face!
"Don't cry...don't cry...don't (HONK HONK) cr-"
"Who the hell is honking at me?  They do NOT want a piece of me right n-..." and I turned around, only to see him, smiling and waving...and a little annoyed, and still honking, just to be obnoxious! ;)
He was parked in the closest spot next to mine (about 3 spots away in a different row), but from the store's view was blocked by a box-truck belonging to the furniture store next to my job.
My heart hit the sky, I swear it did, and I quickly threw my closet in my car, hopped into his, and we were beach-bound.  
Over the course of the next 10 years, we would go through some of the craziest, darkest, trials.  Separating twice, only to find we couldn't go but a few days before we had to talk to each other.  Even in the few months that we "took a break", we talked almost every day, still hung out, and only learned that we were truly, madly in love with each other.  
This 10 year milestone happens to be placed right at the beginning of our newest journey; our American Dream in Ohio.  We just moved into our own house, just got our 2nd (and last) dog, and our careers have just gotten stable.  
We may have been a few years behind the clock of our peers, but we're happy and grateful to be right where we're at, looking back on all the grace and mercy God has shown us.  
Here's to us, and many, many more decades to come.

White Cheddar Popcorn

Sitting here, trying to be "creative", I cannot think of a profound, first EVER, blog...hence White Cheddar Popcorn.  In reality, I have so much I could write about, but all I can think about is how I can eat this White Cheddar Popcorn and type, without losing any of the 'flavor' on my fingertips.  


Sad...so sad!


So, let me tell you about this White Cheddar Popcorn.  It isn't just any popcorn. No. It's THE popcorn!  Never have I ever tasted a better popcorn, but mainly because the very sight of the bag takes me back to the beginning of the new millennium, walking the halls of EHS, and our table of girls in the cafeteria.  Oh what glorious days those were (at least they are in comparison to the years that followed).  I had very little stress, VERY...little!  
Best friends √ 
Hair √ 
Clothes √
...and sadly my friends, that was about all of the worries that revolved in my "know-it-ALL" teenage world.


And this White Cheddar Popcorn was a group favorite around our lunch "C" table of girls.  So much a favorite, it was more a staple of our lunchtime (as equal of a staple as gossip, tears, note-passing, make-up, and boys), that if one of us girls didn't have enough lunch money, SOMEBODY would buy her a bag.


Every time I see the red, white, blue, and hint of yellow, bag of Lance® White Cheddar Popcorn (literally EVERY time), a flashback from that era in my life comes forward...and it never fails.


Most of us girls at that table don't even talk on a regular basis anymore.  Some of them, I can't even remember their last names from high school, let alone their new married names.  Some are still in our hometown, others miles away.  Some have husbands and babies, and some don't.  And no matter where our lives have taken us, or not taken us, for whatever reason, this White Cheddar Popcorn takes me back to that table, their faces, and our naive worldly views, a decade ago. 


It's only appropriate that I wrap this first blog up, as I round out the very best part of the bag of White Cheddar Popcorn...the bottom corner of it. :) And so, wherever they are today, and wherever they go tomorrow, I'll always remember them around the table, every time I see a bag of
 Lance® White...Cheddar...Popcorn.